Before I had children my sister use to tell me, “children are master manipulators”. Being a single girl at the time I didn’t understand. I mean how could children even know how to manipulate, right?
Fast forward to 2018 and in my fith year of motherhood. That little sentence makes a lot more sense now! My boys are the absolute best. And I am having a blast being their mom.
But let’s face it, our kids know how to play us. Often more than we would like to admit. And for some reason the older my boys are getting, the softer I’m becoming with discipline.
I find myself second guessing my decision. Did I handle this situation correctly? Should I have done or said something different? Gosh, I hope he still loves me?
When their dad walks in he is the hero, the fun one. They play, laugh, run around, tackle each other and just do cool boy things. A sense of jealousy creeps in while watching them because I also want to be the fun parent!
Then, at a school parent course I learned my new favourite phrase – “be the parent”. It was mind blowing. The course was about positive discipline and how to set boundaries, but ultimately asking: “what kind of person are you trying to raise”?
Making the decision to have a baby is the easiest part of it all. Only when they are physically here, do you realise what a big responsibility it really is.
But I think that was part of God’s plan. While they grow, so do we. And before you know it, this thing called parenthood is like riding a bicycle. I’m not saying it’s easy, I don’t think it ever will be. But at least it gets better every day and making decisions and being the parent comes a little more natural.
After the parent course I had a complete mind shift and no longer envy my husband or even feel jealous. As I watch them now, I feel grateful my boys have a dad to play with. As their parents we also decided what kind of child we want to raise and have set boundaries accordingly. I still have my bad days, any mom does. And I still second guess myself, but I am “being the parent”. I know that what I’m teaching my boys will raise them into strong, independent, humble, kind and happy men.
If you ever have an off day or feel you failed today as a parent, take a moment to remember that raising little humans are beyond hard. Ever heard of the phrase, “it takes a village”. You are doing an amazing job! God would never have given you the gift of children and motherhood if he didn’t think you couldn’t do it.
So, if you are the type of parent that over analyze, over think and second guess, just remember these three words:
Be the Parent
Set the example, layout the boundaries and decide what kind of person you are trying to raise…
I would love to hear from fellow moms. So please leave a comment and share your thoughts.